As I move into the final semester of my BFA degree and beyond, I find myself reflecting on the summer and feel compelled to explore the grade-school essay topic of "What I did over summer vacation." The truth is, my summer was weird and took me down several interesting rabbit holes.

I had resolved to make a panting each week to submit with my grad school application, 15 in total, but the wisdom of slowing down elevated my work to the next level and 8 pieces were able to come off the easel, plus a thick stack of foundational work to carry me into the end of the year.

I discovered a deep love of manga and read more than 40 volumes. It truly got me out of a yearslong funk of only being able to read things that were functional or neatly summed up in an email.

At my urging, I hosted my out-of-state sister for what I expected to be (and what turned out to be) her last chance to see our dad.

I found myself fascinated with North Korean films.

After our father passed at the young age of 66 (from heavy smoking, heavy drinking, malnutrition, broken bones from falls, infections and uncontrolled diabetes), I hosted my sister once again and we dug through the hidden treasures of our childhood.

With these items in hand, I became obsessed with POGs and Magic: The Gathering.

I found myself in the position of needing to sell my father's 50-year collection of coins (Ancient Roman, American pennies from 1750-1910), forcing me to become an overnight expert of the American Colonization Society of 1833.

Ditto on the massive collection of guns. And crossbows. And ammunition. And WW2 gear. And a giant pile of cameras.

After cleaning out my father's collections of valuables, I was able to make a portrait with the items of his undoing - beer, cigarette ash, broken pens and metallic spray paint (below).

I attended many, many shows at the planetarium and expanded my appreciation of the vastness of our universe.

Inspired by the Olympics, I began eating and training like an athlete and am well on my way to having the body of my dreams next summer.

Summers like this are the reason I took the plunge and decided to "take this art thing seriously." Being self-employed has provided me with more freedom to wander through diverse interests and weather tough life situations. Not everyone is up to the wild twists and turns of the artist lifestyle or even the challenges of self-employment, but it opens me up to fully experience the freedom of not being beholden to the demands of the bait-and-switch lifestyle of being an employee.

As of last night, I am officially free to spend my summer exploring the potential of my work in a way I have never before experienced. After a course load of six classes (four in the studio) for the last five months I have been dying to step away from the demands and deadlines of "art student" life in order to be able to take what I have learned this semester and apply it to work that is truly mine. 

I've committed myself to the arduous task of building a professional portfolio and working to maintain the discipline of the studio habits that are required of any artist needing to make that final jump to go pro. My studio is now consolidated into my at-home setup instead of scattered among bags that travel with me from class to class. It's a rather idyllic scene, stepping out onto my back patio with a cup of coffee and settling in to paint as the sun begins to warm the air. It's a luxury I have only been able to dream of until now. I'll be pouring myself out over my work for the next 107 days until the start of what will be my final semester of my BFA.

As I wrap up a series on 1970s nostalgia and move through the next steps of a series of American quilts, My mind has been wandering on to the next potential move and how next I can explore the genre of the biographical still life. This summer will be spent exploring my work and assembling what will ultimately become my application portfolio for Sac State's MFA program. I really have no idea of my chances of acceptance, but if I'm going to apply, now is the time for that exploration. 

I've recently begun rediscovering the fragrances I wore in various periods of my life and in gathering the discontinued bottles from eBay have unlocked dormant memories and my pen has started flying through my sketchbook as fast as it can to capture the avalanche of both mental trash and treasure.

It's really an intimidating thing to put yourself out on the Internet for all to see, even more so to put yourself out there and have it be your livelihood! Slowly but surely, I am building my art business into something that keeps my lights on. It's so strange to be an "official grownup business" doing something I absolutely love. I am overjoyed to spend every day making art and am humbled at what an extreme privilege it is. 

If you like my art and would like to have a little piece of me hanging on your wall, check out my Etsy shop!

I've been screaming "I'm not ready" for the last week, but this morning I finally clicked the "submit" button for a Fall 2024 graduation. If by some turn of unfortunate events I am unable to get those needed classes, I'll be deferred to Spring 2025. Either way, I'll be walking in Sacramento State's commencement ceremony in May 2025! My life has been so full of short-term goals for so long that it feels strange to be making plans so far in advance....much less asking the looming question of "what's next?"

This week marks the official beginning of the second half Junior Year as a BFA painting student! Winter break was wonderful - I took two trips to the snow; one leisurely sipping hot cocoa in a mountain cabin and watching the flakes come down, the other navigating the icy backroads of rural Missouri in a rented Kia Soul and running through various airports in a mad dash between delayed flights. I was gifted with a Cricut machine for Christmas and have spent a little time with rudimentary projects as I begin to climb the machine's vast learning curve. I made tie-dye onesies for a gift. I meandered through a few ideas in my sketchbook. Most significantly of all, I was able to begin the new year refreshed and ready to take on the flurry of paint coming my way.

It's the eve of my 41st birthday and I could not possibly be more satisfied with my life and the things to come in 2024. I took seven art courses (21 units in total) this past semester and now that the dust has settled I was pleased to find that I earned all As.

For this winter break, I'm working on some ideas for this next year, a larger painting, and avoiding responsibilities with little crafts like painting my canvas shoes.

I was equally blessed to have gotten into all of the classes I wanted for this upcoming spring semester and am well on my way to graduating. Of those classes, four will be painting and two will be art history. I will have the luxury of a few spare hours each day to read and work in my new sketchbook. 

I've decided that as a birthday gift to myself, I am going to repeat my course from the Milan Art Institute now that I have been provided with an incredible about of perspective that I can apply to my studies. 

The pressure of midterms has finally come to a head and I am in a perpetual state of both drowning and nearly able to grab the rope to pull myself out. Between seven classes, building my business, and the day to day drudgeries of life I have developed a slouch from keeping my head down that hopefully isn't permanent. 

My university requires that all BFA students take a "beginner" digital art course which inexplicably requires me to proficiently learn four different programs. I don't necessarily dislike digital work, it's just not my main flavor and right now it's just stealing time from my painting.

I've been creating like a madwoman regardless and sending submission after submission to my local galleries. The reception has been good and there are a lot of opportunities on the horizon! It's nice to see the upcoming shift from "what now?" to "what's next."

Who would have thought that an academic load of 21 units (7 classes, 5 of them in the studio) AND undertaking a venture with New Masters Academy AND maintaining the business of my own studio would keep me busy? Add to that some exciting new partnerships coming my way and you've got a recipe for completely losing track of the time of day!

Still, I'm very much in my happy place, which can only be described as a complete brain fog propelling me through doing the only thing I can - making one more line or one more brushstroke. More work is coming!

This past month I decided to take a major plunge and accept an invitation to join an experimental cohort for a 4-year program with New Masters Academy as they take their first steps to accreditation. I could not be more happy with this amazing opportunity and plan to take advantage of every opportunity offered by these amazing people. I've been a subscriber of New Masters on and off for the last few years, but it's always seemed to take a back seat. Their offerings are incredible, and offer an education on traditional European art styles. Lately I've been sitting down with Marian Littlejohn, Catherine Bobkowski, and the master anatomist Glenn Villpu to grow my skills and begin to execute the  concepts that have been bouncing around in my mind. My only doubts are about how I'm going to fit all this in with my classes at Sacramento State.

New Masters Academy  

It's been a wild ride the last few weeks with some of the internal transitions I am trying to make. Every single day, I sit down to create...something. Whether it's a class assignment or a commission or an activity from the bevy of paid online tutorials that I've convinced myself I need, every day is spent creating.

"I am an artist" is something I struggle to say out loud. I truly do believe that I am meant to spend my days creating, but whenever anyone asks what I do for a living, my answer is usually along the lines of "I'm an art student," or "I paint," as if I lead a dull life outside of my little hobby. 

But the reality of it is that I do make artwork as my full-time vocation. I don't have a "real job," nor do I want one. I'm an actual, real-life working artist. I "clock in" at the easel or Wacom every single day. 

Today I spent a few hours reworking an old painting of a snake. He used to be bright blue on a flat background but received some new speckles today....and he didn't turn out AT ALL how I'd planned. Worse yet, he gets to hang on my wall for a few weeks while the paint dries. I have to remind myself that progress isn't linear, that I am indeed a real artist, and that I need to start saying it out loud.

I'm one of those people who have to remain busy in order to be productive in any way. It's as if I have to set myself to fail and then work feverishly to prove myself wrong. I'm sure others can relate. If I take eight studio classes in a semester I will get straight As, but if I'm enrolled in just one class I'll fail it just because I forgot to show up. Such has been the flurry of my life lately. I'm in between the summer and fall semesters (mostly, I'm wrapping up a Photoshop class) so I've been spending this month leaning into my oil painting and creating as much as I can. I'm afraid that as soon as I stop I will have lost all momentum.

Yesterday afternoon and evening I spent hours diving into the final exam of what is (hopefully) last general education class I will ever have to take. Science Philosophy is definitely not my life's passion! I'm grateful to be able to move forward in my education,  and it's time for the next chapter.

One of the things I am including in this next chapter is a full re-do of my studies with the Milan Art Institute's Mastery program. I bought the course last year and moved through it rather quickly, but I'd love to circle back and take my time pouring over every lesson with the benefit of knowing what's coming in the months ahead. Right now I'm starting the oil painting and drawing lessons by starting the first steps of a colorful landscape painting. I have really good feelings about this piece and can't wait to see how it turns out.

I've been on quite a journey lately with my art. In the past year I have really committed myself to improving as much as I possibly can and really finding my voice. For the past 6 weeks I have been taking a 6-week summer intensive hand-built ceramics class at Sacramento State as part of my BFA program and while ceramics aren't my main concentration, it's been an incredible learning experience. My final project is due tomorrow and I can't wait to see what comes out of the kiln!

I am also proud to say that this past fall I earned my associates degrees in both art and art history from American River College. It's truly an exciting time!  I'm pursuing multiple artistic interests at the moment and have never been more content than when surrounding myself with other artists. It's an incredible ride.